Great Expectations

Morning light greeted Gordon's brow with a start, the brit still ill-adjusted to the temperament the U.S. offered, especially in a locale such as Texas. He saluted the horizon, staring off into the empty plain and after a more peculiar dream, Gordon's first conscious thoughts followed;

"I wonder what Reverend Haberdasher is doing."

Here I go, and there I come and here I go and there I come. Always comin and a-goin, that's the life the good lords gave me. This here Earth is full a filth and I even though he didn't give me a mop, he did give me a mirror, an that's good nough'. Lord o Lordy Lord Lord why'd you give an old peddler like me such a hardy hard hard mission? You knew it din't you? You knewd I didn't like them queers, with all their fornicatin and womanly actin selves? You knewd I traveled in less than right proper circles and among them were those dreaded ass goblins, that made me wretch every time I'd touch em for a ten spot. But not no more lord, and you knewd that too. I'da touch every last one o' them for you and here I sit in the bright early morn, here in the great state a Texas. I figured, ass goblins were kinda like regular goblins and they liked to hide in the shadows, under bridges, places hot and dreary, so what better place than Texas right?

The old makeshift reverend had found little luck in spreading his message. Part of the issue may have rested in attempting to discuss matters of a homosexual nature in what many consider the most homophobic state in the union, but that didn't phase him. Another issue could be that his "bible" he waved around was a copy filth ridden copy of studs n' suds, a piece of academia that is far from enlightening. He had to rethink his gospel.

"Come sees the truth of the gays and the things they do! Find out what Jesus and all the angels have to say! Learn the truth of what God wants, the true message and what our roles are in this blessed life a Christ!"

Haberdasher smiled his biggest, toothiest smile as the gentlemen, cowboys and every sort of fellow wandered into his dimly lit corner lot. They gathered to hear the message they had been waiting for, the kind of fiery sermon that would drive the very gay serpents from their metaphorical Ireland. They wanted reassurance that their homophobia, their disgust was justified by a higher power. they should have known better.