And so it was, all sense of commitment Joe felt toward Casey was lost. After patchwork instances of reflection were endured, the realization came to Joe that attempt was simply not worth it. She was not his, and although this fact was a startling revelation that came about in a drug induced haze... it was simply that: fact.
Alone in a mass, Casey was not by his side. She was nowhere near him, not in eyesight and not in any of his other senses. Fire-lit faces matched the profiles of all of the demons in his past. Rejection, he felt. Though was it?
He was a junior in high school, in the throws of loving his one and only; his high school sweetheart. It was prom night, and they were ready. More than ready, in fact, after an evening of limo rides and spiked punch. The two decided to part early from the evening of bad rap songs and poor dance re-mixes. Joe and Marie had already been dating three years, since the beginning of freshman year and the urge to take each other was present, though for fear of losing each other, they held off. Until that night, it was.
Lake country was their residence so isolated areas were not in few. They parked his old beater mobile near a lake front and for a moment, they sat in silence simply smiling at each other. With solid eye contact and a gesture on Marie's part, the two passionately began kissing and with what almost seemed like an instant, their love for each other was choreographed into a dance that prolonged the rest of the night, until five the next morning.
Joe delivered Marie to her doorstep with a kiss on the lips and an "I Love You."
The next few weeks went by and their love was stronger than ever. With the novelty of their new found sexuality not at all ceasing to wear off, they knew each other better than they ever thought possible. On the last day of school, though, Marie did not appear. Joe received no phone call, no notion of his love being ill in any way. He endured the rest of the school day, the finality of his junior year intensely setting in, and on the car ride home an unsettling feeling arose in his gut.
As he turned the corner near the location of his home, Marie's parents vehicle was ominously parked in his driveway with both of his folks already home from work. "Oh no," he thought. He marched up his sidewalk to the door of his house and as he looked through the window, he saw all parties involved with tears streaming down their faces. He barged through the door to see resting on the kitchen table a positive pregnancy test and a suicide note. His heart dropped and as he lifted the note, tears smeared the ink. It read: "I'm sorry. I wasn't ready, and now I'll never be ready. Joe, I'm yours always and forever. Mom... dad..... I'm sorry to disappoint you. Sincerely, Marie."
While reminded of the finality of his only love in this life, he knew that he couldn't let Casey go nor could he deal with never fighting for one that he loves. He snagged a joint from some generous passers by to help mellow himself out from coming down off of this evening's X and sought out to find Casey.
He toured through endless myriads of individuals, making love and letting loose, bathing in the sweat of the people surrounding him. Hours that felt like months dragged by with no luck of finding his Casey. He went back to the tent in which not long ago had been the location of their hazy physical event and he found her there, nude, on the cusp of sleep.
He laid next to her and whispered in her ear, "I'm not giving up on you."