Saturday, October 18, 2008

Welcome Home

"Oh fuck off mate!" Gordon scoffs at Parkers declaration.

"I'm serious man, I really think I'm falling for her." Parker says, somewhat quietly while staring at the wall.

"Just because the girl makes ya tingel a bit in your knickers don't mean it's love. You're just drunk, or tired, or stoned, or something, but you're not in fuckin' love." Gordon says.

"And what would you know about it, Gordon?! How the hell could you possibly know what I'm feeling?" Parker yells.

"I just fuckin' do! Now would you lower you're goddamn voice before someone busts in here thinkin' there's fuckin' spousal abuse or somethin' going on?" Gordon asks.

"Man, you don't dunno..dunno..du..." Parker slurs, right before abruptly passing out.

"Fuckin' kids..." Gordon says quietly, and rolls over to pass out.

A few short hours later, Gordon awakes to the sound of someone pounding on the door.

"Waker wakey motherfuckers! Drop your cocks and grabs your socks!" a voice yells.

"Oh for fuck sakes..." Gordon mumbles, as he stumbles to the door. He opens it to find Jamie standing outside, dressed and ready to go with a smoke hanging loosely from his lips.

"Time to go kids, we got a long drive ahead if we wanna make it on time." Jamie says.

"In time for what, exactly?" Gordon asks, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Oh you'll see. You're about to see America at it's fuckin' finest." Jamie says, as he leaves the room.

"C'mon mate, time to go." Gordon says while shaking Parker.

"Lord?" parker asks, eyes half open.

"No, but you're close. We gotta go." Gordon says, as he staps away to grab his shoes. Parker slowly sits up, and the two get ready to take off.

Parker and Gordon get down the stairs in time to see Jamie and the rest of the group getting into the limo.

"Is it me, or is the sun abnormally bright today?" Parker says, sheilding his eyes from the late afternoon sun.

"You're just a bit hung over man. Don't worry, you'll get used to it." Joe says, patting Parker on the back. The group piles in, and the limo speeds off back onto the highway.

"So, where exactly is this thing at anyway?" Casey asks.

"Well, according to the Wiki, it's in the Black Rock Desert in northern Nevada." Mali answers, reading from her device.

"Yeah, we have awhile. Better make yourselves comfortable." Casey says, leaning her head against the window next to her.

"Well, I know what always makes me comfortable." Jamie says, as he pulls a fat joint from the inside pocket of his blazer.

"You just carry weed on you? And you never worry about getting caught?" Mali asks.

"Um, yeah, pretty much." Jamie answers as he lights it and takes a hit.

"Well, alright." Mali says, as she watches Jamie pass the joint to Casey.

"Might as well. We're gonna be in here a few hours anyway, might as well take our minds off of shit for while" Casey says, as she takes a hit from the joint.

The joint gets passed around to everyone in the back of the limo, except for Parker, who is fast asleep on the floor. As the joint keeps maing it's way around the limo, Jamie pulls a smoke from his cigarette case and lights it.

"Can I ask you something Jamie?" Joe asks.

"Um, I guess. What do you wanna know?" Jamie says leaning against a window with his legs proped up on the seat.

"When was the first time you knew you really made it?"

Jamie takes a long drag from his cigarette and thinks for a few seconds.

Well, one night, a few months ago, my best friend Mitch, my other good friend Kramer, and this guy I just met awhile back named Kaia are sitting around my house, and we're all fucked out of our minds on blow. We're all sitting around bullshitting, that kind of deal, when Kramer gets this idea. He convinces us to go up to the Hollywood sign, and says we're gonna mark our territory. We're all tweaking our balls off, so we're like, "why the fuck not?" It wasn't like we had anything better to do. So we load up into Kaias car, and head towards the sign. It's like, 3 in the morning on a Tuesday, so most of the people up that way are all asleep. We park in a secluded spot near a patch of woods, and sneak up to the sign. It was the first time I had seen the entire city since I had moved out west, and it was fucking gorgeous. I mean, ever since I was little, I had always dreamed of seeing it, and let me tell you, you have no fuckin' idea what the views like until you actually see it for yourself. Movies and T.V. don't do it justice man. So I'm standing there, admiring the view, when I hear what sounds like water pouring out onto the groud. I look over, and see Kramer, cock in hand, pissing over top of the fucking O. We all cracked up for like a fucking hour. Here I am, realizing my fucking boyhood dream, and one of my best friends is taking a piss in what I'm sure in his head was the entire city. After we calmed down from laughing, we all pulled out our boys, and drained all over Hollywood.

"I suppose that's the first time I realized that I had actually made it, as fucked up as that sounds." jamie says. He looks to the group, and sees that they have all passed out from the mixture of no sleep and killer weed.

"Fuckin' kids." Jamie says to himself, as he nods off.

A few hours later, the limo pulls to a stop. The driver steps out, and opens Jamies door.

"We're here sir." the driver says, as Jamie steps out.

"Hey, fuck-o's, up and at 'em." Jamie says into the limo. Everyone slowly files out of the limo, and admires the scenery. They notice a ton of people, dressed in the strangest costumes they had every seen. In the middles of it all, they saw a giant man made of wood, with flames pouring out of it.

"Jesus fucking Christ." Parker says quietly to himself.

Gordon steps to the front of the group, awestruck.

"God bless America."

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